I decided to buy a little something to get the mood started. I spent lunch picking out a pretty nightgown and snuck it into the house when I got home. Little Man fell asleep at a reasonable hour and I headed to our bedroom to get the romance started.
I never try and surprise Hottie. The sad fact of the matter is he always guesses every present I get him for Christmas. The one time I did surprise him for a birthday gift with scuba diving lessons didn’t go very well. Hell, that’s a story all on its own. How was I to know that man didn’t know how to swim?
Every time I sneak off into one part of the house, he inevitably follows. Or Little Man does. Or Beau does. There is no privacy in this family. I was fully expecting him to follow me into the bedroom and ask what I was doing. I was surprised when he didn’t.
I put the candles in place. Realized I’d forgotten the candle lighter in the kitchen. Snuck into the kitchen, slipped the lighter up a sleeve, and walked back to the bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
I didn’t light the candles yet. Didn’t want to risk him seeing them before he saw me. I slipped on the nightgown. Quickly lit the candles, climbed up on the bed. I could hear the quiet hum of the monitor on my bedside table, along with the TV in the living that Hottie was watching.
“Hey, babe? Could you come here for a second?” I expected the automatic pushback that I usually get. Instead, I heard him rise from the sofa, the soft pad of his feet traipsing to the bedroom, all without argument.
He came to the doorway and stood. He ignored me lounging there in the center of the bed- ignored me! – and focused on the insignificant. Just like a man.
“What the hell!” His eyes bypassed right over me in my black negligee and focused on the bedside tables. “Candles! What, are you trying to burn down the house?”
And right at that moment, we both heard, “Daddyyyy!”